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Related article: Date : Fri, July 16, 1999 March 51st EDT 29 From: ZELGADYSS aol. com Subject : Seven of Brian - Be - In - The loneliness of 12-13 OK this is my first time in a story like this, I have read many of the files from and I loved. This is about me, my life and my fantasies with and Brian Littrell of the Backstreet Boys. I am in no way implies anything of the sexuality of the Backstreet Boys, and if not 18 GIT ! enjoy and e- mail to Zelgadyss AOL. com with the comments of the story good or bad. Remember, it's my first time, and any resemblance to other s stories, I feel completely happened and about the accident. Part 12.. I was there.. But I will not. Maybe I'll end as JM J and have some 100, who knows. So I will continue to ratio Jon and Brian, and are much deeper in Kevin and Nick. for with thanks for the e- mail, and keep them coming, and how the e- mail I think the story is moving that sound good ? J.. I've also heard some of history the readers of thisnot to be naughty naughty ! And then I hear There are readers who read this and deny... you know who you are! Ok ok Jokes about... lol. Read, know who you are, know who you are are, but their cause among us that's what e- mail, two J... otherwise 7 enjoy J Brian solitude of the sea is Part 12 Jon Brian face a few shades lighter than you told the story. that knew it was serious, and has a strange feeling well. He knew I n is not something for nothing to be alarmed. Also I n clung to him and realized that I did not want to go, he knew I was very afraid of this and started in a worry-free operation, as I works even. I had gradually become comfortable and relaxed as Brian was hooked, I could see the worry in her eyes. "Brian you okay?" That nodded, but I knew he was lying. I snuggled him in silence and started to curl up with him, and after a while the cares of his face as he smiled at this time Contentwrapped his big arms around me and has near me. "I'm going to be okay Jon, I'm worried about you. " Now I've started understand what that meant, for the evil tree could do more harm as well. Now expected to get bad, and in a manner to produce to him, and he worries too much, so I just touched a little hand. "Do not worry, Brian, love conquers all right, and I will be with you n for a very long unless you are older. I saw much, much older, so n years he had before it happens, and it is a permit future experiments, so it is not happen, we will not allow. "I smiled, I thought his mind relaxed as n stretches the truth a bit, because I I knew it was a close future was foreboding. I also know it can not happen there, so I decided to , but I do not care how you look at each other's arms. Looking , I was very pleasantly, and he must have been, since it derives from a dream me. I took him to bed and lay down, as it was too feel very tired. IOverall, by instinct led me to that, would be close, and fell asleep, I in his arms, and he with me. I drift slowly in a quiet place to sleep solid condition. I had a couple of things in my mind that day, and I had a decision to change I. Physically, so I knew that I was overweight, but I felt plump. Brian came out like, so I thought I was going to keep up with the foot, to see if "talk about" Brian could work with me and help me. I knew him, but if not, I could do it alone. This was a decision I had made and knew I had to do at that time. Made with the decision, which had just to continue. Those were my last thoughts I had left in the world is of dreams where everything is possible and the future saying the eyes of another person s interpretations, if you knew how to read, then I knew. If not, then there was only one way to spend the time and the rest. ~ ~ ~ ~ The Dream World ~ ~ ~ ~ I slowly awoke to the world of dreams. A world, where do you see things in many ways. Sometimes it is the third person view of yourself times is first person, like every day. This time he went in search of in what appeared to be me. I saw myself walking down the streets and just sing a song, as usual. Then a train of light, a very thick n visible, almost as light began weaving Lolita Sites wire around my body. The light was seen not as a pure white light that we use every day, , was a pure light, almost like a light of hope. It was a complete cocoon around me, so an aura of white light. Then suddenly to see things in my own eyes. The feeling of my body felt. The light was hot but not too hot, and I loved the feeling of safety and security,. Almost as if my mind was the ray of light to symbolize Brian and how I felt. I feel like nothing else in mind, and I content. I felt different about this bag over time, not bad different, s almost like I was.. cured in a sense. My mind was always in n easy, and my body felt like it was gone. The feelings were real n is for me, I felt a change. I felt again as if all the weight and pain had , every little thing that bothers me, the whole life of the big problems and small were taken just me. Gradually they began to raise my body as I down again in my body. Although I've always wondered, whose eyes I was standing look through here I see myself and the costume that was in his arm slowly broke through the light output , and soon a leg, and finally left him. Lolita Sites I was thinking differently. I s eyes, which were deep, but the pain was gone. The bitterness was gone. I jaded no. I felt free of the emotional stress I had, and grazing my the back were a pair of wings. Wings of Light, along with a new hope. I s really changed in the mind, and my spirit taught me this. When deciding on work, I felt better, and pales in conversation, my pain. This was show ms I've changed inside and out. I was hoping that was real, and that one day will be free from all pain and sorrow and the anguish I went through. I would one day be free as a butterfly - new in its inaugural flight. I was able to joke in my kind. The wings, I rose to new heights. I saw things I never could not see before. I realized that, before Brian was the cocoon, all around me, keeping me safe. Then I realized it was also the wings. that helped me feel complete, total. He loved me with a love that was true, unconditional love s we all seek. He took me to new heights in the life of my s, made me feel as if the world did not matter. The things I found, , as much as I tried. He helped me to feel that belongs somewhere. The wings were on the march, which took me up to new heights in life. Mentally, physically and mentally. He had what it could not, had all my fears, my pain, and raised him. ince I knew what I had. I had a reason. His love became I want the person I always knew I would be. Because Brian was growing , and mentally I was always good. He had spread so many, on so many fronts, just give me the only thing I ever necessary. The love. Undoubtedly, unexpected, unrestricted, free, firm love. Most importantly, unconditional love. I loved everything I had, all I all I saw. He loved me, even though it had nothing to offer to him, unless the same love. What I had not realized until now, was a required per person. I knew he meant a lot to me, and I thought about it, but I have so special is that unconditional love. You never really usually until it is gone. I realized that I now had what I wanted for my all life that some people never find. It was a love so pure, so true that it was beyond words, in a sense that even the greatest poets could never capture. The essence of life, then it's helloI t... the meaning of life is charity. True unconditional love. A one for all the love, could not be what , or whatever it was, but what it is. So take what they are, not what could be or once were. If this is not the meaning of life, I n ow it's not.. I did not care. Knowing it was love, was all that s important to me. My thoughts went like this in my sleep, and I slept peacefully in the arms of Brian overnight. ~ ~ n ~ ~ The Night of other parts of the hotel ~ ~ ~ ~ Kevin and Nick were pretty tired after the day's events. amazing n enough that they were very tired when you have to do something. Just wanted to be together, and that was important n both as a bedroom. They had decided on a beautiful movie and dinner. The film was on Pay Per View, and so curled up in bed. Kevin wrapped time, strong hands of protection around Nick, Nick snuggled in the arms of Kevin is. Nick stared at the screen when the film went on. that ifGhede how his mind was so far from the movie as possible. His mind was a Kevin and Kevin all meaning for him. Also of luck, about for Kevin. He was concerned, did not understand why Kevin did not mean , the group that they were together. It felt like Kevin hides it, , and Kevin has always been the subject when Nick lifted the last comment. Nick slowly pulled into the arms of Kevin as he gradually came to realize that s believed it was true. Kevin walked away when he tried to pull him close. This n is even more difficult Nick away, the view of Kevin as Kevin said not the formation of tears. "Kevin I... I.... I may be young, and can believe me stupid, but I finally found out. His shame on me, n and be with me, so can not say guys do not you? "Kevin has a pained expression on his face as he walked behind Nick and Nick wrapped in a beautiful embrace. "No Nick, it was because I do not want to disturb that n , and I think it was a little scary.. but threally bothers is not it? "Nick nodded as a tear fell from his eyes. It was then sneak around that Kevin realized how Nick is felt throughout the place, and he was young. I wanted to be Kevin can keep the guys.. but Kevin was not sure he was ready. let Nick. "I know I do you want kids to tell Nick, but I'm not ready yet. please... "Nick went to the door and went out and closed the door. When the door was closed until the end of his sobs were heard, as he ran down the hall and stairs. AJ and Howie saw Kevin as going to say what was wrong ? Kevin knew that Nick 's feelings, but the idea of being gay was hard to swallow. was something that Nick had time to deal with. had tried to I was afraid , bisexuals, and the time involved. Kevin seemed more as the youngest person in this situation, as Nick, the official youngest of the Backstreet Boys was acting more mature than him. Kevin began in the diCorrection Nick was, "What have I done to him," said Kevin as he chased Nick. All Kevin could think was, "Where go... I'm going to forgive?" This caused a few tears on the face of the grass Kevin. knew what had happened to Kevin, Nick, who was injured levels points. When not so concerned about what he did to Nick and where Nick, he against themselves senseless and he knows it. Where traveled extensively, none of them knew anywhere, so no one could run just to see where they went. For the same reason, if that would be lost, and make it incredibly difficult to follow. The fact , spilling does not help at all because no one saw where I was going, or to see why. Kevin ran straight along the path of the direction he had hoped to pitch in. Nick was injured, he felt his heart broken in two. I had never been bad.. so uncertain.. ashamed of who he was, since the Sun came out he was was that Kevin, Are ashamed and do not want it in public, or in the group, behind closed doors when it Lolita Sites was convenient. Nick could not dass was young, but advance in maturity, grew up in the street, and s that began to grow too fast, and never had a real childhood. The love that was so, but for Kevin, and he knew it was. He also knew that not hide who he was or people who are supposed to to be like a family with him. He was soaking wet when he arrived at a small dinner. He entered the small town, quiet, and had a seat at a time stand. He was wet, and tears stung his eyes were red and swollen. that was set, Lolita Sites and when the waitress came, asked for a cup of tea.. drop it. That began to relax in his cabin, found n the eyes and imagined how things could have been, should have, and still saw Kevin smile and beautiful eyes in his head. When she closed her eyes and saw a He has not noticed, but Kevin was in the window. There was silence ªanked to their God of second chances, this right, as he found Nick. walked slowly in the dining car, irrigation, and saw Nick sitting in the state , with tears in her eyes. This brought more tears to the eyes of Kevin, because he knew , it was he who caused the pain and tears. He went to the jukebox box to try to find to have to do something Nick knows how he felt. surprisingly sufficiently new music jukebox was there.. Kevin was surprised. saw both their albums and was about one of his songs, to see that, with a right choice and went into the selection. sat next to Nick, as the music came. "The incredible blue this is what his eyes. That's what I am. And if I do all the to do it again, I would have waited so long saaaay No I can not live without Lolita Sites you I do not want no body smaller, listen very carefully.. AMO ". Nick looked up, tears are falling on very wet table, him and Kevin is soaked and dripping down. He saw the tears Kevin the cheek too. Kevin squeezed his arms around Nick, no matter Who saw Nick and kissed him deeply. As they kissed, upper lip began Kevin Press n nicks on the upper lip, so that his tongue could find a home on Nick waiting mouth. They are blind to their surroundings, is tho Kevin s just hope that nobody sees. finally broke the kiss after a few minutes, Kevin looks at Nick 's eyes. Nick 's eyes begin to show the wound, , even when he tries to hide it, the kiss violated the renewal and strengthening her eyes Nick filled with tears again, falling on the shoulder Kevin, sobbing as s , and rises slightly. "OK Nick Psst. We tell the kids breakfast tomorrow. " I knew in his spirit, would be well with him. but still n had his fears in the depths of his heart. Nick jumped understand songs did, how she loved Nick with all my heart, and do not want to lose Nick s another reason I was afraid to say " I love you" before. Nick simply n to him with pleading eyes as the song slowly changeseo and the end " I could not be n I could not wait.... " the song ended. Nick 's eyes looked a Kevin n as if to say : "You mean. And it's not too late. " Nick said quietly to Kevin, and I could barely speak, "Kevin... that Lolita Sites means ? " Kevin clarified his throat. "If Nick, I'm serious. I love you. And we tell the kids in the morning , and I want to spend the night with me. Sleep with me.. no sex, only dream with others. "Nick looked at him, her eyes showed nothing, but happiness, flew as a new set of tears, threw up his eyes, these tears joy when Kevin held her hand, and left the cafeteria without using Nick ordered tea, and went back to the hotel. When entering Kevin 's room, his fingers still together, she tied Start another passionate kiss and shut the door and lock. Kevin has Nick in bed, still kissing him, as they start slowly, with the gears of each other s, finally ending in a pair of shorts to Kevin and boxers - written on Nick. They lay down next to eachwith the greatest care, and to start roaming each others bodies with their hands when their hands extensions of their eyes explore every crack and crevice of each return.. Nick went to Kevin 's ass and back, to know where he out and breaks the kiss. "Just sleep, Nick, I want to work EE. UU.. We need to wait a bit for him. " He smiled, knowing that he said it and meant it with with all my heart. Nick looked at him and pulled Kevin in the vicinity: ".. I'm Kevin s the feeling that we are" grinning from ear to ear while in the head on his chest Kevin Kevin and his head in the cushions like fall asleep, Nick fell asleep to the sound of Kevin 's heart that Lolita Sites beats for n him, making him smile as he deviates from that dream world. 7 Brian sea of ​​loneliness is n Part 13 Jon When Jon gets up arms felt Brian was close. knowledge is nature only call out of bed, he was relieved in the bathroom of to answer the call. Brian realized that he still goes to sleepthe balcony and sits, his eyes glassy as he delves into the thought. No. of friends who lost out, because everyone left him at least it did not matter, but is still depressed. I knew I had happy, you have a man she loves, and waits... and has four new friends around to help him, and put all of them. Knowing that sometimes makes it difficult to as only had to walk to get from here a lot, and still has a long way to go until you've finished your journey. As you drift back slowly begin to in the world of dreams, I'm Brian wrapped his arms around me, as one tear falls from my eyes, my cheeks and on the ground. "What 's the matter son ", Brian said with such sincerity. " It almost happened to me life. The people I have lost, and the new people that just won admiration. I I can do to forget all the past and start a new future. that s just hard to let go, I think. "Brian looked a little sad to know that the sense n, as he and his family splitVeral times, although I never in the form s too, and he knows that they are always there for him, but has a feeling of For a sense of loss. Brian " Well, I love... and your family. " I, "he smiled n, appeared as an expression of utter fear on my face. " NO... NO !.... NO !..... " Brian has a look of pure pain on her face and walked away.. cry of even when I realized Lolita Sites what was happening, grabbed my hips " is not as Brian, my family.. I let you, so that to say no... I do not want to be like her. "Brian begins to warm up a bit ie s why I said what I said. And he hugged me close, as suddenly heard a knock at the door. U003cBang u003e u003cBang u003e sighed. "It never ceases to terminate time. "We got, and Howie was seated show there and laugh as We were out of underwear. " So Brian finally some eh? "Howie laughed. Brian smiled," Yes Howie have, now you get some! "I looked at Brian right dress and slipped past him and Howie, and rebuke the evil in my face, as IPico Kevin 's room for breakfast. I did not say a word about Brian, what s dressed in a hurry to chase. U003cKnock Knock u003e I called softly to Kevin door. He said in his underwear.. " Hey Kev where breakfast is " open Kevin the door all the way and let me in, closed the door, and with the preparations began, as Kevin Nick crawled into the bed in his boxers - written and I could not breathe. "You Beac..... no? " Nick looked at me " sleep together.. yes we have. " He smiled. Kevin current " we all have the n also SLEEP". Nick smiled ruin joke, like Nick laughed. "OK smart the ass and the boys say the right breakfast.. because they are sure Now suppose that, if they do. " Nick nodded and smiled and I had my answer to them, like a frown on my face, when someone knocked on the door, and I thought it was Brian. U003cKnock Knock u003e "Kevin you ready? " I heard Brian s voice. Kevin replied, "Yes one minute Cuz. " I just got a deep grin on my face to hear your voice, like Nick n me a glance of intERest. I shrugged and sat down, as the food was n in the hallway. Kevin invited me to open the door, so I Lolita Sites did, let Brian, AJ, Howie, and the purchase of food in all looked at Nick, and his boxers - written and gave me a look of reproach. "Well, Brian, if a night with her, not me! " Turned out of them and ignored all. AJ has a point of view of the matter, an expression of surprise, Howie and Brian an expression of pain. I ignored him and his Lolita Sites request to speak with him, as Nick got dressed and ate. Kevin took the floor and looked at me, "OK, there are no secrets in the group, so that the spill Jon. " I looked at Kevin. I spited to " sounds like a Brian last night, and you know what I am a human being, or so it says Howie, and it was not me. So either he was implying that screws, on slept with another underworld, which is acceptable to me ! "Kevin was Brian and Howie" was a joke, because Howie asked if he saw me Jon underwear, and told me yes.. but as a joke. "IBrian was a " This is no joke. " Kevin smiled and I knew he was into something s the head. "Chico it to resolve, as we always do, sing a discount! " Brian Kevin looked with a strange look and me with confusion. They were " the rules, it can be argued , with lyrics ! Brian first. " N All eyes on Brian. "When I first saw it, I already knew. There is something s on you. Something that I never thought I would find. Angel of mine. " Then I saw a tube of essay " Ohhh the canvas can do miracles is only wait and see, you can believe in me... " This looks strange, but I knew it, he said, to ask for your trust "If that my love and I had all my confidence and comfort me if somehow knew that his love would be wrong to lie to me and call me.. baby? " \\ \\ n ahhhh'd ohhh'd of the boys and when I quickly: " I ​​never met a guy as a mirror in your pocket, and a comb up his sleeve... only case. and all the extra maintenance gel in your hair oughtta lock, caUse God forbid that they should leave the place. Ohhhh Ohhhh your particular, to think of something new? So impress your Brian Littrell, who is not I really like. " The boys knew it was the rope, which was not his name I wanted, " Let's talk s about sex baby, let's you and me, lets talk about all the good things and bad things may seem, can TAAAAALK about sex. " That was where he said he wanted to talk about sex, and I knew I was angry left here," Break Down, never going to get, never going to get. Never going to to get ever going to get. Never going to get.. wooo wooo woooo " That was me, I knew I was not ready, and he knew I would not give and he knew it. " Ohhhh OHHHOWWWW if you want to be with me... baby, there is a price to pay, I'm a genie in a bottle, you gotta rub the right way. if wants me, I can make your dream come true, you have a great impression, because what you do. " The boys know how to frown, it was not the best option. As I goan expression of t wounded. "Well, Brian, I know your experience and knew that I would like to to wait. I know that sex is not important.. but I knew it was so important. " tears came into my eyes ", which I will win my last words to the song "I have my voice together," I wish I could be the one, the one who can give you love. the kind of love you really need. I wish I could say I always \\ \\ n stay with you, but baby that 's not me. need someone willing to give their best body and soul to you. Promiss it's forever, baby, that's something that can not be for. do Oh, I could say I'm everything you need, but that would be a lie. I know, would do it only hurts, I know you only do mourn. I'm not the one you s needs " I started to choke, just like the guys on their faces, pale white and Brian face full of tears that began to choke and weakly " I love you " and in a barely audible whisper" goood - bye " packed my suitcase, before anyone had the opportunity to respond, and went the door. The kids were amazed at what your awesomerned out. In general, to a lot of fun to the end, but some bad decisions led to a disaster. Finally, everyone realized what had happened and came to me. Just a step behind me, as I took the elevator and down the stairs. I running out the door, do not deal with them, and ignored Brian. I ran through the field and on the road. Finally, he heard men cry, and I was in the middle of the road. I heard a horn go u003cBEEEEEEEEEEEEEP u003e n ear drag tires. My mind was frozen when I felt an impact on my legs, my head bumps and cracks in the windshield. Brian shouted. " NOOO !!!!!!!!!! I not lose you now !!!!" Ran as fast as he could, like the other guys , where I was lying on the sidewalk. I was bleeding from the nose and mouth, is printed on the head and bled. The type of the car got out and scared, " he ran ahead of me.. I tried to stop ringing.. yo.. " Brian was going crazy, holding my body and cried. Kevin took his cell phone and dialed 9 1 1 "operator, which has been an accident,A man is in critical condition and the needs of an ambulance immediately. is bleeding profusely. " Soon the ambulance drove and the EMT is down and ran to my now limp, s bleeding body on the stretcher, feeding me, blood O would be through an IV so that to reach the clinic was. Brian ambulance, and the other with man. minus the windshield to the hospital. was connected quickly to many different monitors and machines, , and as many shots as the blood continues to be fed through my veins n Brian IV all I could think was how I escaped, and why I found , and cried hard on the shoulders of Kevin. Remember that the last words of No if someone had to say goodbye. When Kevin did his best to put the console friend to think he would be well, asked him spontaneously, as the time the past. My room was next to know the waiting room, and guys who, hear what is happening in the room. the doctors were shouting orders to sisters, I slipped. ~ ~ ~ ~ In my head like thisIt happened ~ ~ ~ ~ When I open my eyes, I feel no pain. None I am my own heart, or my body. I I am enjoying a bright light. It is a white light, I see my goddess over again. "Jon. It's not your time.. you want it, he loves back......... Also know within" a great conversation is stripped between her and me... ~ ~ ~ ~ What I 'm talking to the children of the goddess here a lonely sound they most feared. " BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP " Line, and Brian shouted " nooooooooooooo !!!!!!" Now, that 's all folks,. I love the story, I love you. Let me know what you already think n J. As always, this is Jon firm by the way.... tbc maybe ( if you read this you are loyal and CUDOS, J)
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